Work is Very Bad for Blogging

Which is a good thing for me, but not so much for Leah and Sarah, who were all contientious and stuff to begin with.

So there has been running, but I think we are now officially Project 3136 since training for a marathon during the Texas summer is not going to happen.

There may or may not be a running update this weekend, but Leah and I will be viewing a celebrity topiary later this afternoon, which seems like a natural blog topic.

Raspberry Season Comes Early!

As a child, I always enjoyed raspberry season because it meant we got to don semi-protective clothing and attack bushes for a few hours, usually succeeding in eating more than we actually carted home. To this day I am not sure if the term "raspberry" for an abrasion is derived from the injury's similar appearance to said fruit, or the fact that you got 'em when you picked 'em.

Either way, it is a charming term for what can be a less-than-charming injury.

Recognizing that it was too late in the AM, the trail would be too busy, and I had recently tempted the fates by mocking a friend's running injury, Lucy and I took to the trail for a long run on Saturday. She was all over the place; I was tried. Needless to say, when she went for a squirrel the "stop, drop, and roll" that ensued prompted no less than 5 people to ask if I was OK. (Many more people bore witness to the escapade.) Of course I was! I may not be graceful but I'm tough! Lesson learned: Best to run, rather than roll, across gravel. I like to think I added a little interest to their days though.

Miles: 6ish
Trail/the fates: 1
Leah: 0

Apocalypse Now

Captiol 10 K

Miles : 6.2
Time: 1:01:48

I definitely prefer running down the hill at 15th and Lamar to running up it. While I enjoyed many of the costumes (Frost Bank Tower - wow) my favorites were for sure the four spectators under the Mopac bridge dressed as cows. You just don't get told you're "udderly fantastic" by a man in a cow suit often enough during most races, or really, during most lives.

But as much as I enjoyed the 10k, I was forced to confront the ultimate in saratorial horror; THE RUNNING DRESS! That's right, not a skirt, but a full on dress, in wicking material, and of course, in hot pink. I have lost the will to fight, save yourselves if you can.

Yes, Running Can Make You High

So says the NYTimes, and some Germans, and that is good enough for me. While this might not seem like new information to anyone (especially anyone who enjoys athletic pursuits), it was not proven, apparently, until very recently.

a chill of euphoria

I heart my endorphins. They rock.

This may explain why I used to run to techno and/or bad rap (with a little boy band thrown in for good measure, of course). I currently run to the sounds of early morning Austin. The sounds are not particularly interesting, I just find I need all my senses to keep me and the dog from falling in a hole (or a lake) at 6:30AM.

HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY SARAH!

Now that you're back from Ecuador to check the blog.



Also, brace yourselves, a running post!

Miles: 4



I had intended to run with Leah and Lucy (who I expect to soon own a dog wicking shirt) but missed them, so I actually ran by myself. I know! I guess if Jesus can rise from the dead I can make the Mopac loop without external motivation.


Signs you are becoming a Texan: You wear long pants and a thermal top for a run when it's 50 degrees.

Signs you still have some Michigan in you: You lose the thermal shirt 5 minutes in and start wondering about whether various rocks are sharp enough to cut off 3/4 of your pant legs after another 10.

In Which I Fail at Running and Baking

Leah, unlike me, actually has been running (10 miles, by herself!). I had big plans to join her Saturday morning, which of course meant that I stayed out until 2:30 and bailed completely, preserving my no running streak for a third straight week. I finally signed up for the Capitol 10k; even if it doesn't make me train, I'll at least go for a run next weekend.

My other big plan for the weekend was to make my mom's Hot Cross Buns. I am somewhat intimidated by baking with yeast, but managed to get one good rise out of the dough, so of course I immediately screwed the rest of the recipe up. Instead of forming the buns and leaving them to rise on their own, I thought I would hurry the process along by turning the oven on low for a few minutes. An hour and a half later, I realized I had not turned the oven off, and that my Hot Cross Buns were now a hot mess. Not quite as bad as the cookies I once forgot about until they were pure carbon, but pretty bad. Maybe next year.

Stuff White People Don't Like

1. Being reminded that racism exists and they benefit from it.

2. Black people daring to be angry about it.


Let's take a look at what Senator Obama's pastor said that has the mainstream media in pearl-clutching frenzy, shall we?

“We bombed Hiroshima, we bombed Nagasaki, and we nuked far more than the thousands in New York and the Pentagon, and we never batted an eye,” Wright said. “We have supported state terrorism against the Palestinians and black South Africans, and now we are indignant because the stuff we have done overseas is now brought right back to our own front yards. America’s chickens are coming home to roost.”

OMG he's blaming America for 9/11! Except, not really, if you made it through 4th grade reading comprehension. He's saying when we do things like drop nuclear bombs on civilians, support an oppressive racist regime, and are willing to prop up every totalitarian leader in the middle east who promises us access to oil - we probably don't have the right to get all hysterically self-righteous and "this is the worst thing that has ever happened to anyone in the history of the world" about it when someone uses repellant tactics on us. Blaming Amercia for 9/11? Oh that would be GOP stalwarts like Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, McCain's new BFFs Chuck Hagee and Rod Parsley, and of course, they guy who has a bi-weekly phone call with the President of the United States and advocates beating your kids and dogs with wooden spoons - James Dobson! (That darn America is also responsible for Hurricane Katrina as well according to most of the above.)

Of course, they're not blaming America because of it's foreign policy or human rights abuses, heavens no! If only America had kept gays in the closet and women in the kitchen, we'd all be fine! And lets save some blame for the ACLU and all those other nasty organizations that think people should be able to exercise their constitutional rights even when they're not doing what rich white "Christian" men want them to - the horror!

Look, I get why people are offended whenever there's any suggestion America is to blame for the September 11th attacks, terrorism by definition is never a justified resonse and that's fair. What I don't get is why it's so much more offensive to suggest that America might want to look at how some of its policies and actions might contribute to global violence than to suggest that two guys making out and a woman taking the pill have brought God's vengance on us all. I find the idea of seizing on a national tragedy as an opportunity to whip up the hatred that fills your bank account and makes you a power player in the GOP a lot more offensive, but then, I'm not a member of the mainstream media.

And if the issue is really how candidates are affected by religious figures in their lives, then aren't McCain's connections a lot more of a problem? I realize McCain isn't interested in peace in the middle east, but on the off chance that endless war is not in the best interests of the country, isn't it a problem that a potential President hangs out with a guy who says Christianity exists in order to wipe out Islam and all Muslims, and a guy who supports Israel so that it will start a war that will wipe the country and the Jews off the face of the earth so Jesus can come back? This does not seem like an ideal way to approach international relations, but again, I do not have my own show on CNN.


“The government gives them the drugs, builds bigger prisons, passes a three-strike law and then wants us to sing ‘God Bless America.’ No, no, no, God damn America, that’s in the Bible for killing innocent people. God damn America for treating our citizens as less than human. God damn America for as long as she acts like she is God and she is supreme.”

Still not seeing the offensiveness. Oh wait, he's saying America is RACIST and that black people resent it and he sounds kind of angry about it! I mean, how dare Reverend Wright shatter the illusion that we live in a post-racial America and that a legacy of slavery and opression as long as the history of this county has been forgiven and washed away in the benevolent glow of tolerance. It's certainly not like our schools are still segregated, our drug laws are written to ensure that poor and black people are disproportionatley punished, or that people are dragged to death behind pickup trucks for the color of their skin. Wait, maybe this will work better if I rephrase the Reverend's words, or better yet, let's have Thomas Jefferson do it;

"I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is Just."

There.

"Barack knows what it means living in a country and a culture that is controlled by rich white people. Hillary would never know that. Hillary ain’t never been called a n*gger. Hillary has never had a people defined as a non-person.”

And here's where he loses me. Do I think anyone white can ever really know what it's like to be black in America? Nope, not a chance. But Bill Clinton grew up poor, and Hillary wasn't exactly hanging out in the family compound either; they get the class stuff. What I actually find offensive is the idea that Hillary Clinton doesn't know what it's like to be defined as a non-person. In case no one noticed, she's a woman. And women get that. Racism and sexism are different, but the experience of being "othered" and defined as not quite as human as white men is something they have in common. (Also, I might add, the establishment regards any display of their anger as illegitimate and something to be supressed at all costs.)

Here's what really bothers me about this whole thing (in addition to the racism and the toxicity of the national media, of course). Rev. Wrights' sermons, whatever you think about specific statements or tone, have at their core something deeply American and central to the civil rights movement; the idea that this country is capable of becoming more equal and more just, and that our project is to live up to our own principles and laws, not to tear them down. Pat Robertson, Chuck Hagee, et. al, on the other hand, are committed to changing those principals, whether it's destroying the separation of church and state or stripping women of the right to make their own medical decisions, in the service of returning to a glorious American past that exists only in their fantasies.

I can't pretend that I don't enjoy all the ways in which I am privileged by my race, by my class, and by my sexual preference, and I can't pretend that losing those privileges doesn't scare me. I can't even pretend that watching some of those clips of Rev. Wright's sermons didn't make me defensive and hostile. But it doesn't make me forget which America I want to live in.

ETA: Jeremiah Wright was 24 the first time he had the right to vote. He had already spent 5 years in the U.S. Military.

Well At Least I'm Running Off at the Mouth

Miles: O

Not that I've read everything written on the Spitzer issue (I do occasionally work) but I'm starting to be really bothered by it. Am I the only person who has a problem with the fact that he bought a prostitute? I see a lot of discussion of how prostitution shouldn't be illegal and Vitter didn't resign, and no, I wouldn't be shocked if there was some partisan shenaningans going on in the Justice Department, but not a lot of condemnation of what he did as morally wrong, and publicly morally wrong. You cheat on your wife, it's wrong, but it's a private wrong. You buy a prostitute and it's a public wrong - not because it's cheating, not even because it's illegal, but because consent is a fundamental public value - you just forced someone to have sex with you when they didn't want to.

Yeah yeah, it's a "choice" and why is exchanging sex for money different from any other work and why are you a sex-hating conservative who is totally uncool . . . But that's kind of the point, it's not sex. Sex is mutual. Even leaving aside the reality of prostitution, which is not so much Pretty Woman as it is violence, drugs, and more violence, with some slavery and child abuse thrown in, with a nice overlay of unequal labor markets, when you pay a prostitute, you're paying someone who you know doesn't, by definition, want to have sex with you.

I don't have any bright ideas about legal regulation of prostitution (apart from a general bias towards harm reduction) but that so many "liberals" and "feminists", let alone mainstream media and political figures don't find something deeply disturbing and immoral about this guy getting off on having sex with someone who doesn't want to sleep with him really bothers me.

And I've just figured out why. Like torture, like horrific prison conditions, like immigrant detention camps, it's not about them, it's about us. It's not about whether a particular prostitute was perfectly willing to take money for sex, it's about how wrong and violative of our values it is to ask him or her to do that, and even worse, to enjoy it.

As always, I blame the Patriarchy. And running skirts.

Travesty Alert!

If I subscribed to either the Washington Post or Entertainment Weekly I'd be canceling both this week. Washington Post, I am retroactively rescinding every Pulitzer you have ever received. (See, also, rescission of any credit for progressive change previously achieved from Ralph Nader after the 2000 election.)


Not only, Washington Post, did you publish the editorial "Women Aren't Very Bright" (now with bonus anti-Latino racism!) which was both misogynist and so mind-bendingly idiotic in every possible way that even National Review criticized it, you actually tried to pull the "jeez, why can't girls take a joke" maneuver.



Perhaps I should not be surprised, Washington Post editorial board, that you thought publishing this excrement was a great idea given that you clearly do not understand such concepts as "satire" and "provocative." Allow me to explain.



1. SATIRE: It's not satire if the person saying it actually believes it. Would you publish an op-ed by David Duke claiming non-white people are stupid and try to pass it off as satire? I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say no. Charlotte Allen works for an anti-feminist organization that thinks women should not have equal rights because they are inferior to men. She wrote an editorial for you saying women are inferior and, in case you missed it, smearing both presidential candidates who favor equal rights for women, and taking a bonus dig at Latino voters in Texas. She's not kidding, therefore, it's not a joke. (Also, jokes are generally funny.) The fact that think you can play this off as satire demonstrates that either you have no idea who is writing on a given topic that you are putting in millions of newspapers and cannot use Google, or that you, too, think women are stupid.



2. PROVOCATIVE: Once again, WP Editorial Board, you've got two choices. Are you too stupid to live independently? Or are you bigots? "Intended to provoke not offend?" Do you also have a bridge in Brooklyn you'd like to sell me? Particularly in the context of a newspaper's op-ed page, provocation has a particular meaning: to be provocative, a piece needs to challenge readers to re-examine common assumptions and uh, provoke actual thought. Sexism and racism aren't provocative, they are the default assumptions and staus quo of our society. Printing a sexist and racist op ed isn't provocative, it's sexist and racist. It doesn't make you brave, or transgressive, or a champion of uncomfortable truth, it makes you bigots, and assholes. While it's always good times to be reminded of both how much my culture hates me and how totally acceptable it is to be openly misogynist, the only thing this article provoked was an intense desire to kick John Pomfret. Repeatedly. In the crotch. With cowboy boots on.



Read it and weep:



http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/02/29/AR2008022902992_pf.html



And now on to the sins of Entertainment Weekly. Characters on TV shows that you'd like to date? Excellent fluff, EW, and you very appropriately included V. Mars and Logan. However, how could you include "Men of the West Wing" and leave out Toby? Did you not see the episode where he ranted about the First Amendment, the one where he knew how many words were in the Gettysburg Address, or the pilot in which he smacks down fake Jerry Falwell? I'm pretty sure his defense of affirmative action was the closest thing to porn I've ever seen on network television for heaven's sake! Do you want to tempt the wrath of whatever from high atop the thing EW? DO YOU? Then I think a correction is in order.

I still miss Veronica Mars:

http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20181731_16,00.html

Utili-CAN!

Tech committee here. Just to follow-up on Maddie's post for you lazy clickers.

Those of us at Project 3035 wish you lives filled with marsupial pouches and other similar conveniences.

By Stalker Request

So, the Austin Half.

Miles: 13.1
Time: 2:20ish
Why did you finish 10 minutes slower than your last half?: Hills, and lots of 'em
Will you ever drive the hill on 15th between Lamar and West again without cringing?: Nope
Did you get post-its?: Not even a bizzare tape-dipenser/bracelet hybrid. But TWO t-shirts! (While the observant stalker might note that I have approximately 1,225 t-shirts, this will allow me to substitute a 2008 race t-shirt for the 2000 race t-shirt I have been wearing whenever I wanted people to think I might actually leave the couch once in a while.)

Have you stopped making fun of running skirt?: Never! In fact today Project 3035 brings you.....the Spartan! For men! (This would be so much better if I could embed a picture, but I can't.)


"On the track, on the court or kicking back on a Saturday with a beer in hand, the Spartan is the ultimate in UK comfort. Built for manly exertions, the Spartan has more style than you’ve got energy.

American made breathable nylon with contrasting side stripes and waistband.

Pants suck. And so do shorts. The Spartan Utilikilt is built to take all the sweat, aggression and action you can give it. Half kilt, half boxing shorts (with some basketball styling thrown in), if the Spartan isn’t the most comfortable, breathable, most active thing you’ve ever worn, then you must be dead below the waist.

The Spartan is the only Utilikilt to feature an elastic waistband, keeping it tight and in place as you show off your basketball moves or shove down “just one more” cheeseburger.
The Spartan’s Marsupial Pouch pocket keeps your keys and wallet comfortably below your boys as you sweat to the eighties. The pouch is one big pocket, easily accessed from either side and built to hold more cargo than you’d expect.
Leg Striping on both sides of the Spartan adds to its sporty feel.
Proud UK Label at the center of the waist lets all the fools on the court know you’re representing for Utilikilts.
And remember ladies, the Spartan is the perfect way to encourage your Utilikilt-wearing man to finally get off his ass and use that Nordic Track you bought off the TV."

http://www.utilikilts.com/?page_id=32

Hahahahhahahahaha!

Fun People to Meet on the Trail

There are definitely things to be written about finishing the AT&T Half Marathon. Go Team! However, since we've not gotten around to it, and haven't run much at all this week, let me show you what we missed.

Here.

Which is cooler, running with the SWAT team or a protection detail?

Run Til You Puke

Or until you make a dog puke, as happened last Thursday. This makes Sarah and I sound super-hardcore, but the ASPCA can relax - Millie just ate a lot of pecans before the run.

I did think I was going to puke on Saturday, but I blame Cedar Fever for that. Leah and Sarah kindly allowed walk breaks, but I think we ran at least 6.5-7 miles of the 7.5 mile loop. Sadly, we were not able to solve the issue of wind insurance for the coast, but I think we made inroads on non-profit management dilemmas.

Four days until the half. I am keeping in mind my new favorite Onion headline, "Failure Now An Option."

not hardcore, funny

This is totally gonna get me kicked off the contributor list.

My attempt to make the following link relevant goes as follows:

Yesterday I ran with my dog-- she showed no signs of slowing at mile 4 (jerk) and pretty much pulled me (an Athena) off the trail once or twice. Maybe if I ran with my cat things would be easier?

runnin iz hardcore:

Snakes in a Dome

There was apparently a Jaycee Rattlesnake Roundup at the Capitol building this morning. At 8:30 a.m. If this did not involve men in funny hats chasing live rattlesnakes around the rotunda, don't tell me.

Hardcore!

Miles Sarah and I have run since she declared "hardcore" training last week: 3
When: last night

On the other hand, we have been going to bootcamp, which is nothing if not hardcore. And definitive proof that I was born with no muscle in my upper body. Also definitive proof that burpees suck just as much today as they did in 5th grade and were clearly invented for use in the 4th circle of hell. Which come to think of it, pretty much describes middle school gym class. (Except for floor hockey and the parachute.)

I am officially an Austinite as I have developed cedar fever. Despite spending the weekend on the couch pretending I had a cold, I can no longer deny that after 35 years, I have allergies. Blech.

Days Until the Austin Half Marathon: 11

ETA: Burpees
1. Drop into a squat with your hands on the floor.
2. Jump your feet back so you're in push-up (or plank if you're an Austin yoga hippie)position.
3. Do a push-up.
4. Jump your feet back into a deep squat.
5. Straighten up by jumping as high as you can.
6. Do that, really fast, over and over again until you feel like you might puke.

Not Running

John Edwards.

The plot thickens and the field thins... or something. Let me weigh in (late) and say this is really going to be a long run for these two. Also, why can't we all realize that Super Duper Tuesday is the worst name ever? Can't we try to make our democracy sound a little cooler than a day off from school?

13.1 Miles and Some Post-Its

Well folks, we did it. On Sunday Maddie and I completed the 3M Half Marathon. I won't say it was pretty, but it was great. We finished in 2 hours, 11 minutes. We've got the medals, photos, and complimentary post-it notes to prove it.


Many thanks to our fabulous friends & loved ones who drove us, cheered us, and ate recovery tacos with us.


Miles: 13.1
Least Favorite Mile: 11
Most Useless Party Favor: 3M gift wrap tape dispenser that you wear on your wrist
Weeks until the Austin Half Marathon: Not enough

Blogger hates me but there are some photos here.

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday

That's right faithful readers, the 3M half marathon is this Sunday. I am already having anxiety dreams about missing the start and not being able to find Sarah and Leah. No monkeys or aliens yet, which seems like a good sign.

Miles with Leah on Saturday: 6
Miles with Sarah on Tuesday: 3
Only on Town Lake: Walker in a full length coat with large fur collar. Not only are the rich different, their idea of appropriate exercise gear is mildly insane.

How Ready Am I For the 3M Half?: Not. At. All.

Update: Leah also reports a fur collar sighting, and a brief fear that she was about to be a victim of the first female flasher. Why are there no female flashers in the traditional trenchcoat in the park mode? Discuss.

Stoked and Wowed

Leah's Miles last Sunday: 12!

10!

Miles: 10
Pain level: high
I definitely need to buy some Gu, despite the difficulty of eating what is basically vitamin-packed chocolate frosting mid-run, a banana is really not enough fuel for 10 miles.

Only on Town Lake: ZZ Top guy! Also a girl in a shirt for something called "God's Love We Deliver," which just raises a lot of questions. Is there a 30 minutes or less guarantee on that delivery of God's love? Can you pick between Old and New Testament love? What kind of car do you drive when you're delivering God's love? If you order the extra large, do you get a free 2 litre coke and breadsticks? Can I get extra cheese on that?

I Am Wrong About Politics, Right About Drinking, and Happy About Both

Y'all, mark your calendars, today I am actually happy and optimistic about American politics. First woman to win a major party presidential primary! Thanks for proving my pessimism wrong for a change New Hampshire! And the cherry on top is what a kick in the teeth it was to all the sexist douchebags who've been bloviating all over cable news about how she's too emotional, or not emotional enough, or too shrill, or too hysterical, or just too gosh darned female. And you, Chris Matthews, the woman is a United States Senator, a presidential candidate, and a former first lady and you just PINCHED HER CHEEK? If she's strong enough to refrain from repeatedly kneeing you in the crotch for that, she's definitely the toughest candidate running (whether or not she's wearing a smooch-colored running skirt.)

So, yay for the women (and men)who got upset about the media sexism and made sure they voted, yay that the primary race is going to keep on going and two states aren't going to pick the candidate, yay that our three frontrunners are a woman, a black man, and the son of a millworker who are arguing about change theory instead of three rich white dudes arguing about who hates immigrants and Muslims more, yay for high voter turnout in Iowa and New Hampshire, and for lots and lots of new voters! Yay!

In other good, even awesome, news, the combination of drinking and excercising make you healthier!

"Non-drinkers had a 30 percent to 31 percent higher risk of heart disease compared to moderate drinkers, no matter the amount of physical activity they undertook. Moderate consumption was defined as between 1 to 14 drinks per week." (Reuters)

It's Miller time in America people.

The sole purpose of dating is to make you happier about dying alone. That is all.

Budapests

Confession: Saw Maddie pulling into the lot trying to find a home among the Crown Vics. Can't they carpool? C'mon SWAT guys, Austin needs a leaner greener force. Also, they were all SWAT. How much SWAT does Austin need? Don't answer that. I was glad I'd finished before them but sorry I missed the kids.

Miles: 4
Crown Vics: 47
People I almost ran into because it was too dark to be running: 7

I did go running in Budapest on New Year's Eve. Mostly I did it so I could say "I did go running in Budapest on New Year's Eve." It was awesome. I ran up the Danube on the Buda side and back down on the Pest side. It was (below) freezing but the town was totally lit up (complete with projections on to buildings) in preparation for Silvester (New Year's Eve). Awe.some.

Kilometers: 5+
Budapests (or gentleman who felt the need to comment on the jogging): 5ish

Mmmmm Bacon

This morning would have been a bad time to do something illegal on Town Lake since there were cops everywhere. Mostly running, and perhaps it's good to know now that I cannot outrun the police; I think I'd be better as a criminal mastermind with minions who do my sinister bidding anyway.

There is also nothing more nervewracking than backing out of a parking space while 30 cops stare at you.

Miles: 4
Sarah's Miles: 3 + weights
Leah's Miles: We're not sure, she may be trapped under an avalanche of insurance reports, but she wins some sort of prize for being the only one to actually run over the holidays.
Bad Idea Jeans: Taking three weeks off. The first run was fine, but today was half the distamce and twice as miserable

We Now Return to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

It's safe to take the mental health unit off speed dial, this is actually a post about running. No, seriously.

Miles: 8
Miles the rest of our pace group completed: 10
Things You Should Not Do Before Running 8 Miles:
1. Take a month off from running.
2. Get no more than 5 hours sleep a night for the preceeding week or so.
3. Stay out drinking Lonestar until 1 am.
4. Eat an Amy's breakfast burrito only 20 minutes before beginning to run.

The first four miles actually felt pretty great, the last four did not. I was wondering why I actually lost weight on the all-cookie diet I've been eating for the past three weeks, but not any more - it's because I lost all the muscles in my legs.

Only, and Awesomely, on Town Lake: Older runner in singlet and shorts - and a full on ZZ Top beard and sunglasses.

Fire When Ready

I'm pretty sure I'd rather die of smoke inhalation than continue to be woken up two to three times a night by the incredibly loud high pitched beep of my house's hardwired smoke detectors demanding new batteries. Why 2 am smoke detectors? Why beep so loudly that I cannot tell which one of 4 smoke detectors is actually beeping and must go up and down a ladder repeatedly in the middle of the night when I am barely competent to walk in heels? Why not some kind of continuous beeping instead of once every hour or so, ensuring that I am unable to replace the correct battery and will just have gotten back to sleep when you beep again?

The only thing saving the fire detection system from having a hammer taken to it is that I am even more upset with my alarm clock, which could not interrupt a scary dream about alien invasions, but managed to go off in the middle of a dream about making out with shirtless Ryan Reynolds. I'm sure I should probably be more worried about why my subconcious feels that making out with Ryan Reynolds is threat response behavior, but mostly I'm happy to have found a Homeland Security initiative I can really support.

Miles: O
Scheduled Miles Saturday Morning: 8-10
How Well That Will Go: Not at all.
How Badly I Need to Start Getting More Than 4 Hours of Sleep a Night: VERY

I Am Apparently Very Concerned About Alien Attacks

I had one of those dreams last night that's super vivid and really stays with you, and then read an article this morning about this new theory that dreams are a way of practicing your response to danger. That's why so many dreams involved being chased or attacked, you get to screen the scenario and practice responding to it in a sort of subconcious self-defense class. So here's what I'm prepared for:

1. Alien attack and avoiding detection by hiding under things. As long as every part of your body is hidden under a dark blanket, they can't detect you.

2. Alien overlords who take on human form and can only be killed by puncturing their skin and dousing them with water. I now feel that I could instinctively stab someone with a trident, but I need more work on throwing water from a 8 oz plastic bottle on an alien more than 3 feet away.

3. Faking a relationship with one of the head alien overlords in human form while simultaneously leading a rebellion and trying to get the word about the whole stab and water method of killing the aliens to scattered groups of human survivors.

4. A disapointing fourth season of Veronica Mars involving lots of flooding. (And no, I have no idea how that connects to the aliens, I think it was a separate dream.)

Bottom line? Not only am I clearly insane, but even in my dreams I date creepy inappropriate guys. At least in my dreams they're hot.