Not Running

John Edwards.

The plot thickens and the field thins... or something. Let me weigh in (late) and say this is really going to be a long run for these two. Also, why can't we all realize that Super Duper Tuesday is the worst name ever? Can't we try to make our democracy sound a little cooler than a day off from school?

13.1 Miles and Some Post-Its

Well folks, we did it. On Sunday Maddie and I completed the 3M Half Marathon. I won't say it was pretty, but it was great. We finished in 2 hours, 11 minutes. We've got the medals, photos, and complimentary post-it notes to prove it.


Many thanks to our fabulous friends & loved ones who drove us, cheered us, and ate recovery tacos with us.


Miles: 13.1
Least Favorite Mile: 11
Most Useless Party Favor: 3M gift wrap tape dispenser that you wear on your wrist
Weeks until the Austin Half Marathon: Not enough

Blogger hates me but there are some photos here.

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday

That's right faithful readers, the 3M half marathon is this Sunday. I am already having anxiety dreams about missing the start and not being able to find Sarah and Leah. No monkeys or aliens yet, which seems like a good sign.

Miles with Leah on Saturday: 6
Miles with Sarah on Tuesday: 3
Only on Town Lake: Walker in a full length coat with large fur collar. Not only are the rich different, their idea of appropriate exercise gear is mildly insane.

How Ready Am I For the 3M Half?: Not. At. All.

Update: Leah also reports a fur collar sighting, and a brief fear that she was about to be a victim of the first female flasher. Why are there no female flashers in the traditional trenchcoat in the park mode? Discuss.

Stoked and Wowed

Leah's Miles last Sunday: 12!

10!

Miles: 10
Pain level: high
I definitely need to buy some Gu, despite the difficulty of eating what is basically vitamin-packed chocolate frosting mid-run, a banana is really not enough fuel for 10 miles.

Only on Town Lake: ZZ Top guy! Also a girl in a shirt for something called "God's Love We Deliver," which just raises a lot of questions. Is there a 30 minutes or less guarantee on that delivery of God's love? Can you pick between Old and New Testament love? What kind of car do you drive when you're delivering God's love? If you order the extra large, do you get a free 2 litre coke and breadsticks? Can I get extra cheese on that?

I Am Wrong About Politics, Right About Drinking, and Happy About Both

Y'all, mark your calendars, today I am actually happy and optimistic about American politics. First woman to win a major party presidential primary! Thanks for proving my pessimism wrong for a change New Hampshire! And the cherry on top is what a kick in the teeth it was to all the sexist douchebags who've been bloviating all over cable news about how she's too emotional, or not emotional enough, or too shrill, or too hysterical, or just too gosh darned female. And you, Chris Matthews, the woman is a United States Senator, a presidential candidate, and a former first lady and you just PINCHED HER CHEEK? If she's strong enough to refrain from repeatedly kneeing you in the crotch for that, she's definitely the toughest candidate running (whether or not she's wearing a smooch-colored running skirt.)

So, yay for the women (and men)who got upset about the media sexism and made sure they voted, yay that the primary race is going to keep on going and two states aren't going to pick the candidate, yay that our three frontrunners are a woman, a black man, and the son of a millworker who are arguing about change theory instead of three rich white dudes arguing about who hates immigrants and Muslims more, yay for high voter turnout in Iowa and New Hampshire, and for lots and lots of new voters! Yay!

In other good, even awesome, news, the combination of drinking and excercising make you healthier!

"Non-drinkers had a 30 percent to 31 percent higher risk of heart disease compared to moderate drinkers, no matter the amount of physical activity they undertook. Moderate consumption was defined as between 1 to 14 drinks per week." (Reuters)

It's Miller time in America people.

The sole purpose of dating is to make you happier about dying alone. That is all.

Budapests

Confession: Saw Maddie pulling into the lot trying to find a home among the Crown Vics. Can't they carpool? C'mon SWAT guys, Austin needs a leaner greener force. Also, they were all SWAT. How much SWAT does Austin need? Don't answer that. I was glad I'd finished before them but sorry I missed the kids.

Miles: 4
Crown Vics: 47
People I almost ran into because it was too dark to be running: 7

I did go running in Budapest on New Year's Eve. Mostly I did it so I could say "I did go running in Budapest on New Year's Eve." It was awesome. I ran up the Danube on the Buda side and back down on the Pest side. It was (below) freezing but the town was totally lit up (complete with projections on to buildings) in preparation for Silvester (New Year's Eve). Awe.some.

Kilometers: 5+
Budapests (or gentleman who felt the need to comment on the jogging): 5ish

Mmmmm Bacon

This morning would have been a bad time to do something illegal on Town Lake since there were cops everywhere. Mostly running, and perhaps it's good to know now that I cannot outrun the police; I think I'd be better as a criminal mastermind with minions who do my sinister bidding anyway.

There is also nothing more nervewracking than backing out of a parking space while 30 cops stare at you.

Miles: 4
Sarah's Miles: 3 + weights
Leah's Miles: We're not sure, she may be trapped under an avalanche of insurance reports, but she wins some sort of prize for being the only one to actually run over the holidays.
Bad Idea Jeans: Taking three weeks off. The first run was fine, but today was half the distamce and twice as miserable

We Now Return to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

It's safe to take the mental health unit off speed dial, this is actually a post about running. No, seriously.

Miles: 8
Miles the rest of our pace group completed: 10
Things You Should Not Do Before Running 8 Miles:
1. Take a month off from running.
2. Get no more than 5 hours sleep a night for the preceeding week or so.
3. Stay out drinking Lonestar until 1 am.
4. Eat an Amy's breakfast burrito only 20 minutes before beginning to run.

The first four miles actually felt pretty great, the last four did not. I was wondering why I actually lost weight on the all-cookie diet I've been eating for the past three weeks, but not any more - it's because I lost all the muscles in my legs.

Only, and Awesomely, on Town Lake: Older runner in singlet and shorts - and a full on ZZ Top beard and sunglasses.

Fire When Ready

I'm pretty sure I'd rather die of smoke inhalation than continue to be woken up two to three times a night by the incredibly loud high pitched beep of my house's hardwired smoke detectors demanding new batteries. Why 2 am smoke detectors? Why beep so loudly that I cannot tell which one of 4 smoke detectors is actually beeping and must go up and down a ladder repeatedly in the middle of the night when I am barely competent to walk in heels? Why not some kind of continuous beeping instead of once every hour or so, ensuring that I am unable to replace the correct battery and will just have gotten back to sleep when you beep again?

The only thing saving the fire detection system from having a hammer taken to it is that I am even more upset with my alarm clock, which could not interrupt a scary dream about alien invasions, but managed to go off in the middle of a dream about making out with shirtless Ryan Reynolds. I'm sure I should probably be more worried about why my subconcious feels that making out with Ryan Reynolds is threat response behavior, but mostly I'm happy to have found a Homeland Security initiative I can really support.

Miles: O
Scheduled Miles Saturday Morning: 8-10
How Well That Will Go: Not at all.
How Badly I Need to Start Getting More Than 4 Hours of Sleep a Night: VERY

I Am Apparently Very Concerned About Alien Attacks

I had one of those dreams last night that's super vivid and really stays with you, and then read an article this morning about this new theory that dreams are a way of practicing your response to danger. That's why so many dreams involved being chased or attacked, you get to screen the scenario and practice responding to it in a sort of subconcious self-defense class. So here's what I'm prepared for:

1. Alien attack and avoiding detection by hiding under things. As long as every part of your body is hidden under a dark blanket, they can't detect you.

2. Alien overlords who take on human form and can only be killed by puncturing their skin and dousing them with water. I now feel that I could instinctively stab someone with a trident, but I need more work on throwing water from a 8 oz plastic bottle on an alien more than 3 feet away.

3. Faking a relationship with one of the head alien overlords in human form while simultaneously leading a rebellion and trying to get the word about the whole stab and water method of killing the aliens to scattered groups of human survivors.

4. A disapointing fourth season of Veronica Mars involving lots of flooding. (And no, I have no idea how that connects to the aliens, I think it was a separate dream.)

Bottom line? Not only am I clearly insane, but even in my dreams I date creepy inappropriate guys. At least in my dreams they're hot.