Over the Speedo Limit

Filed under "Things I Love About Austin" and "Scantily Clad Boys".

Lest you accuse us of not having "fair and balanced" coverage of the coverage issue, I note the following (wherein boys run races in speedos for charity):

http://austinist.com/2007/11/27/santa_speedo_ru.php

My conclusion? Boys in speedos, while inappropriate, is fun, funny, and for a good charitable cause. Skorts, running skirts, and the like are just annoying. BTW (OMG, LOL!), I'll be running with them (as in at the same time/race)... probably wearing significantly more clothing.

Oh God, I'm a Southerner

I used to love winter running. Snow? Ice? Cold? Twelve mile race in actual blizzard? Bring it on. But one November run in Michigan without a windproof jacket and I was too cold to run again for the rest of the weekend. The shame, it burns!

Tuesday Miles: 2-3, 4 with walking. LC and I learned this morning that the effort of a 4 mile run is not something our bodies take kindly to after a long weekend of turkey, pie, and travelling.

We walked past a guy by the side of the path just past the Mopac Bridge who was just sort of standing there with and exercise ball and weighted bar. I enjoyed imagining he was some kind of exercise dealer, trolling for clients on Town Lake. Sadly, he did not say "hey baby, looking for an ab workout" as we went by.

I'm No Mini-Pony

Many races, in addition to age group, have categories for larger runners, as determined by weight. If you are a dude over 170 lbs or a woman over 135 lbs, you're a Clydesdale. Of course, God forbid we ever let a gender-neutral word describe a category that includes both men and women (and I have here stopped myself from a long rant on our cultural anxiety about knowing which gender category someone goes in every second of their lives. You're welcome. Think of it as a Thanksgiving present.)

So perhaps in an attempt to stop use of the term "Filly" for female runners over 135 pounds, we're now "Athenas." Um, OK. Clearly better than filly, but kind of missing the point. "Clydesdale" is descriptive; they're bigger than the average racing horse. While I may have been born when someone split my father's head open with an axe, embody wisdom, and hang out with an owl, none of that has anything to do with how much I weigh while running a half marathon.

Call me a Clysdesdale. After all, most of what I'm hauling around is beer.

The Real Reason We Run

Forwarded conversation
Subject: and the 3m half
------------------------

Sarah: just did it.

Maddie: me too. holy crap! also I am out of town for both the turkey trot and the trail of lights 5k - dammit

Leah: I'm confused. Are we doing the 3M half (Jan 27) or the AT&T (Feb 17) or both?I will go ahead and sign up for the trail of lights... I'll have to turkey trot by my lonesome in NY.

Maddie: I signed up for the 3m - that's the one you signed up for right SKT? I might be in for both.

Sarah: I want to do both...but particularly the 3M because it is only a half
so we get all the glory :) and they usually have great tshirts :) :).

Maddie: Glory AND t-shirts? I would totally run 13.1 miles for that!

Leah: Plus it is downhill.

**************************
Miles on Saturday: 8, which is awesome, but no tshirts yet.

NPR or Ambien

More proof that LC has the discipline in this project. I set my alarm to run this morning, but slept through half an hour of Morning Edition and then lay in bed half asleep until Marketplace started. There are no words for how much I love being able to have the windows open to the cold air for sleeping. I have brought running clothes to work, so we'll see if that increases my ability to run late day instead of going home to the comforting embrace of the big red couch.

This is more "Only Around South Congress" than "Only on Town Lake" but I'm pretty sure the fact that Leslie had on a miniskirt instead of just a thong this morning means it is officially fall in Austin.

p.s. All the women that wrote into NPR pissy because you thought Scott Simon didn't give Mailer enough respect? You know he was a woman-hating egomanical douchebag right? I mean, women are sad about abortion, but only because they're "destroying the memory of a great fuck"? Jesus H., Norman, my only question is why none of your ex-wives stabbed you?

p.p.s. Yes he was a great artist, AND a woman-hating egomanical douchebag. Although I'm not sure "Ancient Evenings" doesn't knock out a Pulitzer.

Cold SNAP!

Last night the temperatures dropped. Today's morning run was in the low to mid 50's and all was right with the world. This was confirmed when I crossed the MoPac bridge and turned East to see an amazing sunrise over the downtown skyline. The sky was a million subtle shades of flirtini, orange,* and blue.

Miles: 4.5ish (Congress to MoPac)

T-minus 29 minutes to lunch wherein I shall enjoy my leftover peanut soup and sweet potato biscuit. I think it may technically be a "scone", but nothing sucks the joy out of the room more than saying scone when you can say biscuit.

*More related to writing than running. Work has made me an fan of the serial comma. Maybe it is antiquated, but I find it charming. Either way it is now a habit that must make me feel some shame because here I am explaining it to you. I will work on that.

And Another Thing!

Actually, I don't have another thing. I would like to second Maddie's first thing and point out that having patriarchy-blamers like Maddie around is awesome. Despite years of feminist scholarship, I am more "slow burn" than "righteous rage". And, frankly, there is a time for rage or at least a WTF?!? In other words, I knew the running skirt bothered me (really, could that be comfortable?). I knew that a perusal of the website made me feel even worse, but it sort of took Maddie's articulation to pull it all together for me.

In my own defense, when I realized I (too!) could own a skirt in colors "pink camo", "smooch", or "flirtini" I was able to begin to articulate my own frustrations. I think we can all agree that nothing says flirtini like Leah in a skirt at mile 7.

As a side project, I am thinking about starting an athletic ballet flats and heels company. I am pretty sure there is a market. It'll be like the Easy Spirit commerical (looks like a pump; feels like a sneaker) but women will honestly wear the shoes to compete. Who's with me?

That is IT Patriarchy!

Go look at this:

http://www.skirtsports.com/products/toughgirl-skirt.cfm

WTF? I maybe sort of get wearing a running skirt - if you absolutely can't find shorts that don't ride up and won't wear straight spandex in public - but that is RIDICULOUS. They make plenty of loose-fitting running pants; there is no possible reason for this miniskirt over pants atrocity (in hot pink no less) except to slap women in the face with the fact that even if they can run a marathon, they're still just girls and in no way does their culture take them seriously as people, let alone as athletes. (See also some douchebag on Salon whining about how Oprah ruined the marathon because if a middle-aged black woman can run one it's no longer cool and he's no longer a special special snowflake because he runs competitively.)

I'm not particularly down with the sweatshops, but I think Nike's new t-shirt "Female Athlete = Athlete. Period" is awesome.

Miles: 2ish. Leah and I both felt super craptastic.

Only on Townlake: Guy running with a headlamp. Also big giant group of fast runners, just because you are a big giant group of fast runners does not mean that you can run 4 abreast and take up the entire trail, particularly if you have plenty of room to move over to your side. Get some manners!

I have got to stop taking weeks off

Miles: 4 on Thursday
Last time I ran: previous Wednesday
Miles I am supposed to run on Saturday: 7

I have also got to stop staying up late and drinking on weeknights. But who knew my fellowship included tequila shots?

Who's Wearing the Bad Idea Jeans Now?

From my inbox:

Maddie -I'm one of the founders of CrazyBlindDate.com and I'm writing to see ifyou'd be interested in a cool opportunity we have with KEYE/CBS inAustin.Basically, one of the producers at KEYE thinks that CrazyBlindDate isawesome and wants to do a special segment featuring one of our users.The best part is that they want to send a camera crew out on aCrazyBlindDate! They want to do the shoot this Friday or Saturday.
So................
1. Are you interested in being one of our featured CrazyBlindDaters?
2. Are you available this Friday or Saturday (11/2 or 11/3)?
If so, please write me back ASAP!

Let's recap,

CBD #1: So tell me about what you do?
Me: Well mostly I work on hurricane issues but my office also does some stuff with immigration and criminal justice.
CBD #1: I have some experience with the criminal justice system - from the other side. I'm meeting with my probation officer for the first time tomorrow.
Me: Um, seriously?
Followed by interesting conversation about hydroponics, European hemp conventions, legalization, and how the cops will wait to pull you over until you're in a drug free school zone to enhance the penalties.

CBD #2: So is this your first CrazyBlindDate?
Me: No, but my first date did turn out to be on probation.
CBD #2: Hey me too! Before I got sober and treatment for my major mental illness I was arrested for assault after a bar fight.
Me: Are you fucking kidding me?
Followed by a conversation that included way too much information about how long CBD #2 had been celibate, and a Clinton blow job joke.

Are you sure you want to film me on one of your set ups CrazyBlindDate? I can see the upside for me - it might help the police to have it on film when my next date goes after me with a chainsaw - but is that really what you had in mind?

On second thought, there is no upside for me, I really can't have the only two times I make the news be for a)a public bout of hysterical sobbing when told Kerry conceeded in 2004; and b)this.